Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
