chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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