She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
