Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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