woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
