just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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