you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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