I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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