I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
third nipple confirmed
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
