You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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