I like my sex mixed with concussions.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
