Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
