Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
