i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
