Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
