Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
