Buhtt sex?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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