Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just pee around me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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