new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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