I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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