I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
