also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
