just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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