Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize