.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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