UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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