never play flip cup with pint glasses
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
