Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
