sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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