mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
