If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize