she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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