Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
