We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The adults are the big ones right?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
