where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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