He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
