im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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