it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
