I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
