My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
