Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Can I color on your dick again?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
