12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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