That's when you crack a 10am beer
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I think my moral compass just broke
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize