Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
