It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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