I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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