She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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