i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
