either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
