she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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