oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This girl is more easily done than said...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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