he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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