Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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