hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
