His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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