I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
