I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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