Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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