u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
