Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
