we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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