He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
