We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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