If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
