She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
